GOALS - Cliche or Tools for a Purpose?

I'm not in the habit of being self-indulgent, but to make my point here I'm going to be!

If you have ever been to a professional development workshop on goals, or goal-setting, you would be familiar with the drill of brainstorms, group discussions, strategies etc....and the odd cliches. Sometimes we get lost in the hype and the obvious - and, unfortunately, it's the obvious that doesn't seem to be common practice amongst many of our young people.

Whether we are talking to our own kids or students in a classroom, invariably the common question of "...but what do you want to get out of this?" crops up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but often we are faced with a blank stare, a shoulder-shrug or a "Dunno" - why is that? Based on personal experience and reading loads of evidence confirming the long-term value of goals, I believe we often approach the whole notion of goal-setting the wrong way.

As a youngster I suffered with chronic asthma and eczema. Frequent trips to the hospital led to a doctor recommending I take up some kind of sport to build my lung capacity. Choices were pretty basic back then - athletics and swimming were the obvious picks. I had never been a 'star' sports person at school, but I was always active so I chose athletics. My short-term goal was not to win races and become a 'star' athlete, but simply to breathe without wheezing!

I tried (and failed) to be a sprinter, so I turned to race walking. Despite the club coach suggesting to my parents that it probably was not the event for me, I continued to train twice a week.....for no other reason other than I loved it. I got better and better, and six months after starting I won my first of four junior and open national titles.

After two short years of race walking, I switched to middle distance running. My goal was to change my style from running like a duck to running like a REAL runner. Just as I did with walking, I started with small (and seemingly insignificant) progressive steps. I simply wanted to see where it would take me - with my asthma now under control.

One small, progressive step followed another - and within six years of starting with a duck-like style, I was the sole female Australian qualifier for the 1976 Montreal Olympic Games over 1500m. Injury prevented my participation, but by the time I retired from running I had several Australian championships and records under my belt, two City-to-Surf wins, and had represented my country on the world stage on several occasions.

Goals have been part and parcel of my personal and professional life, and it disturbs me when I work with young people who are unable to identify something, anything, that is important enough to them to want to work towards achieving. We all know goals give us focus; give us direction; keep us motivated....and feel good about ourselves when we reach them. But what holds some young people back?

Are we sending the wrong messages to our kids? Do we imply that only lofty goals are worth the effort - that it's all about winning and being 'the best'? Do we fail to acknowledge that the small steps along the way are, in themselves, goals achieved - even if the final result might not match initial expectations? Are we, as parents or teachers, guilty of pushing our kids towards something WE might recognise as something of value...but which they do not?

It's a little scary to be working with a room full of incoming Year 12 students and their parents and to ask the question "Anyone have a goal for next year?", only to receive a list of goals.......but no ideas on how to break that big 'blob' of an idea into smaller, achievable and progressive steps. No wonder so many of us back away from committing to goals - it's all too hard. If I had thought on Day 1 of running that my goal was to qualify for an Olympic team, I doubt I would have made it - too far away, too lofty and probably too hard!

I think we need to re-evaluate the way we have been 'inspiring' our kids to achieve. We need to motivate them to think about what makes them tick; what turns them on; what inspires them. Goals don't have to be lofty; they don't have to be academic or sporting....but they DO have to mean something to the person setting them. Goals need to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-framed - and they need to be their goals, not our goals for them!

Think about it. Sometimes all it takes to transform an "I wish..." into an "I can..."or an "I will..." is the desire and a plan. Might not always pan out the way we hoped, but to plan and try is better than doing nothing at all.

photo credit: Carissa GoodNCrazy via photopin cc

Dealing with the Disappointment of Missing Selection for your chosen High School

My final two years of full-time teaching were spent working with an Opportunity Class (OC), with thirty  Year 5 and 6 students, all eager (and often parent-driven) to gain placement in a selective secondary school. Most of them were offered places - not always for their first-choice school - but those who missed first round offers and were placed on a reserve list were shattered, as were their parents.

Let me say that several of these OC students were not necessarily naturally 'gifted' nor naturally 'talented'. Many were what I would describe as 'hot-housed' - driven by well-meaning, but achievement-oriented, parents to excessive hours of tutoring and sitting for endless hours poring over past test papers to improve their test-sitting ability.

What kind of system does this to a 12 year old? The notion that a child has 'failed' if they miss a spot for a selective high school is ridiculous - as is the notion that if a child does not attend their secondary school of choice they are suddenly less likely to 'achieve their academic potential' by Year 12!

This month, students across NSW will receive notification of their 'success', or otherwise, in gaining placement at their first-choice secondary school. I believe that there are always those children who breathe a quiet sigh of relief, as they are more a product of parental desire than innate ability, and many of these kids are frightened to fail.... and anxious about their capacity to keep up with the so-called 'best and brightest' at selective high schools.

So, for those (including parents!) who are disappointed at missing first round offers - or indeed an offer at all - here are some tips to help overcome this initial disappointment:

• Don't dwell on why they missed selection - comments such as "The system is unfair" or "How did they get in and you didn't?" just adds to the disappointment and establishes a sense of failure at a time when it is critical to be building positive attitudes towards starting high school.
• Focus on what the new school has to offer - avoid comparisons between the school they missed and the school they will attend. ALL secondary schools cover the curriculum, and kids won't miss out on their special interests by attending a mainstream high school.
• High school is what you make it - encourage your kids to have some goals. They don't always need to be academic, but they do need to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-framed. Goals are motivating; they give kids direction and keep them on track, but make sure your kids decide on their own goals....not YOUR goals FOR them! Encourage them to consider the stepping stones needed to achieve these goals - each stepping stone is an achievement in itself.
• New friends - one of the keys to developing resilience (and don't we all want our kids to develop the capacity to bounce back after adversity?) is to develop a mixture of friendship groups. For kids, high school is all about 'fitting in' - so encourage them to be part of activities which hold their interest. Diverse and multiple friendship groups is critical for this age group - regardless of what school they attend!

The New Rules of Engagement - Teachers and Parents

One of the big buzz terms in education today is parent engagement, but it seems that it could well be one of the least understood as well. So, what is parent engagement and how does it affect our children's learning and wellbeing?

Pushor and Ruitenberg (2005) suggested that engagement implies a close and working relationship between teacher and parent; a sharing of parent and teacher knowledge of each child to promote long-term academic and personal success....and this is often where the confusion lies.

Just prior to running a professional development session recently on this exact topic, one teacher commented, "I nearly didn't come because we have enough parent engagement .... we can't get rid of them! They're always there!" She had a whole different perspective ninety minutes later.

For many teachers, particularly those in the 'baby boomer' category, parent engagement is synonymous with parent interference. Many believe that their professional judgement will be taken to task; that parents will tell them how to teach and what to teach; that parents will be constantly challenging school decisions on everything from what is being taught in the classroom and how it is being taught, to what is sold in the canteen and why.

Research indicates that we need to move away from the 'ivory tower' perception of schools and the 'locked gate' mentality to embracing family engagement as policy, as education reform. Weiss, Lopez and Rosenberg (2010) assert that 'family engagement must be a systemic, integrated and sustained approach, not an add-on or a random act.'

So, how do schools engage families in their children's learning, and why is it so important to children's education, the long-term love of learning and developing life skills?

A good place to start is to open up the conversation with your parent community. There is no 'one size fits all' but, in most cases, these basic strategies work:

• Form a parent task-force - they help to forge a connection between school and home
• Conduct surveys (but make sure you follow through on the results!)
• Establish a parent 'hub' within the school grounds where parents can meet, have coffee, access resources to community services, build relationships
• Invite parents to be part of an advisory board to assist with strategic planning, not just fund-raising
• Encourage parents to share their skills and knowledge with students....even at high school. Parents helping to 'chef' for a class, or demonstrate how to use a lathe etc goes over really well with the kids.

This is not about bailing teachers up and asking lots of questions after school; and it's not about parents telling teachers what to teach and how. This is about parents working alongside teachers in the education of their children - not a curriculum-driven relationship, but a human relationship which has an enormous and powerful impact on kids.

"When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, they do better in school. And when parents are involved in school, children go farther in school and the schools they go to are better" (Henderson & Berla, 1994)

Parent engagement is not about teachers relinquishing their role as educator; it is about sharing the responsibility of educating, nurturing and guiding young people towards a positive future. There are certainly vast numbers of 'invisible parents' who, no matter how hard the school tries, cannot get them through the front gate. There is no simple solution to how to engage ALL families, but the offer must be there at least!

photo credit: Enokson via photopin cc

ACSSO National Education Conference

The recent ACSSO National Education Conference in Hobart presented a fascinating 'mix' of educational issues and discussions.

The two-day event, organised by the two national peak parent organisations ACSSO (Australian Council for State Schools Organisations) and the APC (the Australian Parents Council), provided the opportunity for parent representatives, academics, researchers, international and guest speakers to discuss issues concerning the education of our children. The range and scope of topics was amazing - from cybersafety and the teaching of languages in infants and primary school, to chaplaincy programs and values education. What stood tall above it all was the over-riding concern that we need to straddle the barriers between private and public education and work for the good of ALL children! Amen to that I say!!

It was a privilege to be given the opportunity to present a session on the work I have been doing with parents for the past three years - particularly in the area of transition to high school - a significant period, which has been largely undervalued and overlooked in terms of support for parents and students alike.

The response was extremely positive and very encouraging, and it seems the time is ripe for us to finally recognise that if we don't implement some very basic and practical strategies to ease this transition, then we will continue to add to the current statistics of disengaged learners and early school leavers. We need to be more proactive, as educators and parents, in providing our children with skills that will open the doors of 'choice' - and the longer they remain in either education or some form of work-based training, the more choices were are giving them!

Back to School 'Blues'

Well, it's almost that time of the year again when kids start to feel all kinds of emotions about starting a new year at school - and parents as well!

For those little ones who are about to step into the world of 'big school' there is the excitement of new uniforms, new backpacks, new routines and new friends. For those starting high school there is excitement tempered with a sense of the 'unknown' - they are moving into a new environment where they will be known as the 'little fish in a big pond'. For those stepping into their HSC year - a different range of emotions; from relief that they have made it this far to a slow burn of nerves about how they will get through it all.

These emotions (and others!) are felt equally by parents, but we are the ones who need to 'keep it together' for our kids. Each phase of our children's learning carries its own unique blend of highs and lows - but where do we go for help? Discussions at the school gate aren't always the best answer. A few hints:

• Keep the lines of communication open with your child's teachers, as they are your 'front line' of information
  
• Give your child some sense of responsibility - let them pack their bags (doesn't hurt for you to check in the early years!); encourage them to ask questions at school about homework etc, instead of you doing it all the time
  
• Help them develop some skills in organisation and time management - use planners/calendars/diaries to plan ahead
• DON'T do their homework for them - guide them and be there to answer questions, but encourage them to take responsibility for their own work
• Encourage them to set goals for themselves - even easy ones like remembering to pack their library bag or lunch box!
  
• DON'T set goals for your children - if they are not important to your child and they are YOUR goals, not theirs, you are setting them up to fail.
• Give them the opportunity to make mistakes - they will learn far more from their mistakes than their successes
• TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN.....especially in their HSC year! I have just gone through two consecutive HSCs, and none of us would have made it if we hadn't spent time TALKING to each other!
• STAY POSITIVE!

There are a number of great resources for parents as well. The newly formed Family-School and Community Partnerships Bureau (an initiative of the 2020 Summit) provides lots of useful links for parent information. Check out www.familyschool.org.au

Have a great 2009!

Educational Entertainment!

If you thought listening to someone talking about schools and creativity would be boring - you obviously haven't listened to Sir Ken Robinson delivering a delightful assortment of inspirational thoughts, opinions and anecdotes on 'Do Schools Kill Creativity?'

His presentation can be seen on www.TED.com. The TED organisation started out as an annual conference of minds and ideas worth sharing in the areas of Technology, Entertainment and Design. It has now broadened its scope to include a huge diversity of interests.

If you have a spare 20 minutes and you would like to be both entertained and informed, have a look at Sir Ken's video footage - his thoughts on Shakespeare as a boy are classic!

A New PATH for Parents

What PATH? For those of you who haven't checked out my website recently, I now have a new service available for parents.

PATH is an acronym for Parents AT Home and that's exactly what it's all about - parents getting together with other parent friends, in someone's home, and working through issues of concern - like how to help a son or daughter become more organised and 'time managed'; how to help them stay on top of workloads so that the ENTIRE household isn't under stress; how to develop better work and study routines by understanding more about HOW a son or daughter learns; how to help that 'reluctant writer' get started on that next essay or assignment; how to help cope with the changes associated with moving from primary to high school.

In a way, this is very much like a 'tupperware party' - only better! You won't walk out with a new cake container or lettuce crisper, but you SHOULD walk out with a few ideas about how to work with your son or daughter and not fight against him or her!

These sessions only run for 60 minutes - but there's always time for questions and answers, if that's what parents want. They have been very popluar in schools, so why not have one at HOME! If you have someone in Year 5 through to Year 12, this might help!

Give me a call!